A Good Laugh

I was checking out a friend's Facebook page, perusing photos and came across ones from high school, some with me in them.  All of a sudden I became aware of a tightness in my chest!  No, not an impending heart attack, but an IMMATURITY attack: flashbacks of how I felt around this person as a teenager!  My insecurities, my mistakes, those small feelings I had back then...  sigh...  things I wish I had done differently, all came back!  Yikes!  Then came the "if onlies".  That is, "If only I had been more mature, more confident.  If only I had known myself better.  If only I had been ME (that is, the me I am today!)"

I quickly realized that these feelings rushed up because I wanted this person to like me because I always felt that that wasn't the case.

I took a breath and reminded myself that I am NOT that same insecure teenager anymore.  I am not silent nor a stranger to my own voice.  I do not need to be validated by others.  (Well, okay, yes, I do, but not like this and not by that person.) 

And the tightness went away and the laughter filled me up...along with the relief that I am me (and not who I was back then!).

As cliche and immature as having those old feelings and doubts rising up out of the blue may be, I am grateful for the experience.  Why?  Because I got a good laugh out of it, that's why.

Ha HAAAAAA!!!!!

And it's a good thing to laugh at oneself.

Bring on those pictures.  

I'm always up for a good laugh.  

How about you?